GRANDPARENTS RAISING GRANDCHILDREN -

In the fall of 2007 our twin grandchildren moved in with us. My husband and I became GRGs -- grandparents raising grandchildren -- after their parents were killed in separate car crashes. During a nine month period my father-in-law and brother also died and I was paralysed with grief. I was also worried.

Worry number one: Can I do this? Though I had raised teens before and was glad to do it again, I was not sure if I was up to the task. Teens are technologically savvy, for one thing, and I knew nothing about text messaging or teen jargon.

Worry number two: Do I have enough energy? Teens are constantly on the go and I would have to be on the go too. But I was already living a fast-paced life and wondered if I could go faster.

Worry number three: What are our ground rules? Since I have a degree in child development, I understood the benefits of a routine and ground rules. We would have to set some rules for the twins and do it in a way that did not offend them.

Worry number four: Could I keep writing? When our grandchildren moved in with us I had been writing for 30 years. Writing was my life and I did not want to give it up. I wondered if high school schedules and my schedule would conflict.

Worry number five: How much will this cost? My husband and I were living on a fixed income and had no idea of how much it cost to raise teenagers these days. Well, we would learn.

Time has resolved my worries. Instead of worrying about becoming a GRG, I focused on the positives. We had plenty of room for teenagers and been involved in their lives for years. Every Sunday my daughter (the twin's mother) and the kids would come for dinner, an experience we could all draw upon.

Somehow I found the energy to do be a GRG. I get a medical check-up every year and, according to my physician, am in good health. As I tell my friends, "My tires are a bit worn, but I'm still rolling."

Ground rules were easy to establish. I typed the list and stuck it on the refrigerator door. The rules were about practical things, such as emptying the dryer lint trap and turning off loud music at 9:30 p.m.

As for my career, I solved the problem by getting up at five in the morning and writing. I stopped to fix breakfast for the twins and resumed writing after they left for school. Persistence is one of my traits and it has served me well.

We do not know how much money we have spent on our grandchildren. But we do know that our grocery bills tripled and our gasoline bill doubled. Our electric bill shot up because more people were using electricity and we have an in-house computer network.

My grandchildren graduated from high school with honors and leave for college in August. I am so proud to be their grandma!

Copyright 2010 by Harriet Hodgson

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