BULLYING 101: NOW 4 TYPES

Bullying may be more common than a lot of folks would like to think.

One in seven kids — that’s 14 percent of them — is either a bully or a victim, said Sgt. James Young, school resource officer with Abilene Police Department.

One of the problems of dealing with bullying is defining it, and definitions have changed in recent years.

There are now four forms of bullying, said Rod Pruitt, safety educator for Region 14 Education Services Center.

“You can bully physically by hurting somebody’s body, socially by gossiping or spreading rumors, emotionally by name-calling or teasing or using technology through social mediums like texting,” Pruitt said.

The profile of a bully has changed although there’s one constant factor: a lack of empathy.

“The bully used to be the big kid that was socially awkward and picked on others to feel better, but that is not what it is anymore,” Pruitt said. Now, however, the bully “is socially smart, usually has a small group of friends, makes relatively decent grades — and just finds that when you are mean, you get what you want,” he said.

The victims of bullying seem to come in two categories, Pruitt said.

“The passive target is shy, quiet, insecure, does not have a lot of friends, is a little awkward — and is the typical person to get bullied,” Pruitt said. “The reactive target is the kid that gets labeled as a pest, always tops you with his stories and does not have social skills.”

Bullying can also be a problem based on sexual orientation.

“Nearly nine out of 10 lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students across the country experience harassment based on sexual orientation,” said Daryl Presgraves, media relations manager at Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.

Still, it is emphasized by authorities that anybody can be a victim.

“You can be victimized for physical appearance, mannerisms, not fitting in, any type of illness or disability, if you are sensitive — or do not have good social skills,” Young said.

Local schools and teachers take bullying seriously.

“The main thing is making teachers aware, tuned in, listening and ready to help children learn conflict resolution skills,” said Kay Robbins, director of curriculum and counselor at Abilene Christian Schools. “It is a life skill to learn to get along with each other and handle conflict without being confrontational or avoiding it.”

The school nurse is one source who can be helpful.

“The national statistic right now is that 10 percent of absences each day are from trying to escape a bully,” Pruitt said. “The child may say he has a stomach ache, headache or psychosomatic complaint — because if he goes to school he stresses and worries about bullying, whereas when he is home he does not have to deal with it.”

There are a number of things young people, their parents and schools can do to combat the problem.

Parents should regularly ask questions about their child’s day.

“Ask him if there is anybody at school he is afraid of, who the bullies are, what places are safe and what teachers he can trust and talk to,” Pruitt said. “You want to see a snapshot of what places are potential problems, what people are potential problems and what are potential solutions.”

Everyone should learn to not be simply observers.

“Bystanders are important,” Pruitt said. “If you see someone getting hurt and let it happen, you are part of the bullying problem.”

Because children often do not report bullying behavior out of fear, it is important that they are aware of the reporting system at school.

“A counselor, or someone the child has a special rapport with, is a good person to talk to,” Pruitt said.

Parents should try to find teachable moments to talk about bullying and building empathy toward others. One opportunity is they can read a book and discuss how a character feels in a certain moment, Pruitt said.

Sometimes it simply requires putting oneself in someone else’s shoes.

“You need to get your kid to think outside of himself and his realm and to realize that people have different feelings, opinions and power levels,” Pruitt said.

Posted by Kirace